Posted by: LYF | March 26, 2010

Picking up girls with my audit bag

Does this happen to anyone else?  Whenever I have my audit bag, I get approached by girls.  No joke.  Last week a woman on the elevator asked me if I was a pilot.  She’s was either drunk or near-sighted because I haven’t shaved in a week or seen a barber in a month.  I did not look like a pilot.  This is a pilot.  Granted she could have assumed I was traveling somewhere – my audit bag is similar to the luggage Clooney used for Up in the Air.  But come on.  What’s the deal.  Then she wouldn’t stop talking.  This pissed me off because I was trying to listen to monkey news on my ipod.  “Oh, you just looked like a pilot.”  “Ah yeah? Thanks.”  “So what do you do actually?” *please shut-up so I can listen to Karl Pilkington*

Then the same thing happened yesterday.  Some girl in my building waited a good 30 seconds to hold a door open for me.  And when I tried to say thanks she started talking about my bag.  Seriously?  Looks down at my bag, then up at me, then back to the bag and finally to my face.  “Oh so what do you do?”  Is she serious?!  What the hell is with my audit bag.  “I’m an accountant.  I’m about to audit the shit out of a business.”  “Umm ok…I work at Quiznos.”  I told her she was very well dressed for someone who makes sandwiches eight hours a day.  Turns out she works for Quiznos Corporate.  My mistake.

Is an audit bag to women what lulu lemon is to men? (Lulu lemon yoga pants in particular).  Just saying.


  1. Don’t give the bag all the credit 😉

    • *high five*

  2. You would rather listen to your iPod than talk to a woman on an elevator? Wow.

    • I would rather listen to monkey news for a 30 second elevator ride 100% no question.

  3. Dude i gotta say, best post in a while, not to say the others were not good.

  4. I’m waiting for the day when someone writes a letter to Penthouse that starts with “so I was standing in the elevator with my audit bag about to audit the shit out of some business…”

    best. line. ever.

    I’d totally fall for it. Not so hot on the audit bag though.

    • Haha epic post Jr

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